visual: marinwritten: delivery by imani wolery
written: you can only change yourself by imani wolery
I can’t even put into words what I feel like anymore. Every
time I attempt I sit on my hands or I
choke on my spit. I stop moving my fingertips and I babble
why the world is simultaneously
against me. a woman with brown skin. it changes from
almond to chestnut within the seasons.
trying to find reciprocation. getting lost in the process and
doing it all over again. Am I too
specific? Am I too restless? I guess I am. but what else to do
when you’re putting yourself back
together like a puzzle. I lost pieces in you. you still have
them. I lost pieces in me. you still have
them. I always feel like I’m choking. I always feel like I’m
gravitating. I disassociate to fly away
from the world that harms me. yet I’m still optimistic. joyous
by nature, but not always happy.
they say, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot
change and courage to change the things
I can,
But how must I know the difference?
I left pieces in you,
I hope you appreciate them like I do.
“calmer waters”
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one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is realizing I cannot change others. I look inside myself for answers, but when those answers aren’t clear, I feel like bulldozing my own head. Was it me? was it you? always pointing the goddamn finger. I am so restless. I am so disappointed, all the time. you’ll never be let down if you don’t have expectations they say. Yet my expectations are like seeds in the soil, hoping for a good season. should I let go? should I hold on? What do I do? What do I do? you did this to me, but maybe I did it to myself because one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is realizing I cannot change others. I’m out of spark, I’m out of brightness, I’ve never been like this. I’m out of joy because I gave all my joy to you. soaking up the sun feels good doesn’t it? Do you feel sun-kissed?
one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is learning that I cannot destroy myself hoping for your happiness,
even if I want to.
dont click here
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one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is realizing I cannot change others. I look inside myself for answers, but when those answers aren’t clear, I feel like bulldozing my own head. Was it me? was it you? always pointing the goddamn finger. I am so restless. I am so disappointed, all the time. you’ll never be let down if you don’t have expectations they say. Yet my expectations are like seeds in the soil, hoping for a good season. should I let go? should I hold on? What do I do? What do I do? you did this to me, but maybe I did it to myself because one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is realizing I cannot change others. I’m out of spark, I’m out of brightness, I’ve never been like this. I’m out of joy because I gave all my joy to you. soaking up the sun feels good doesn’t it? Do you feel sun-kissed?
one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is learning that I cannot destroy myself hoping for your happiness,
even if I want to.
dont click here